You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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