Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
