So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
