I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize