they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
