Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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