I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
