It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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