He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
