we have pet lesbian snakes
you guys were way drunker than both of me
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
