gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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