New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
