His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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