i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Even my vagina gasped.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
