I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
