If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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