We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
