he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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