I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Randomize
