i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
