These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
