we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
