Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
