no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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