Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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