I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize