I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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