Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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