She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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