There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
