I just made out with a guy for $7.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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