Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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