Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
