ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
