I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He did a backflip because drugs
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
