quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
