Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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