I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I got chris browned last night
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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