He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
