No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Still dying that you shit outside
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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