Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
