well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
