I look better un-naked...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
