Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
