I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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