i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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