So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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