I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
