in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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