AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
