do herpes really smell.
no you cant smoke seaweed
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
