you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
