I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
