they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
