im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
